Do you know what the best thing about falling ill and lying on the bed for a whole day is? It is the TIME you get alone. Yup. Well, of course, no one leaves you alone when you are at home. But, fortunately or unfortunately, I am in a hostel. And yesterday, after one long week of running around during the college fest, I was on the bed, caught up with fever. And, surprisingly, when we are ill, we tend to forget about all the things which give us stress, you know. We naturally try to keep ourselves in a good mood by watching one or two movies, or maybe reading a novel and all that. But, what I am pointing here is, there is a particular time interval, between you being fully asleep and wide awake, you know. The time when you are just lying there with your eyes wide open. And, then, at that point of time, you think about certain things. You try to figure out the situation you are in. You try to think about where you have reached, what all you have lost and gained on the way, and what all is still left to be done. And, trust me, that little conversation which we have with ourselves is what matters a lot.
So, likewise, I started thinking about all this stuff. I started thinking about what all I have done since joining VIT. And, surprisingly, I realized I have done a lot and at the same instant, absolutely nothing! There are still tons of things out there which can be done. Tons of opportunities which can be taken. That’s the whole point. No one tells you what you are supposed to do. You have to discover it yourself. Of course, all will say that right now, what matters the most is a degree. But then, does that really matter? I mean, yes, you need a degree, because it looks good on your resume, obviously, but, is that it? Is attending classes and getting decent marks the end of it? Because, honestly, if during any family function my maami or anyone whom I haven’t met for a few years asks me ki “kya krte ho?”, I usually reply ki “Engineering”. But then again, I do not really feel good about that answer, you know. Because most of the people out there are doing the exact same thing! So, what am I doing different? Or rather, what am I doing extra? Because, nowadays, degrees don’t matter. But, that little “extra” does. Whether it is a school project which you took up just because you found it interesting, or a debate competition you participated in because your english teacher forced you to, or anything like that for that matter. Oh, speaking of which, let me give you one example from last semester. There was a workshop on Big Data Analytics and it was specifically mentioned “Not for first years”. But, I really wanted to attend it as I was very interested in that topic. So, without knowing how I was going to enter, there I was, standing outside, thinking about how to get in. At that moment, I was very scared, because ‘they’ thought that it was not meant for me. And yet, I wanted to attend the workshop. So, somehow, I went inside. Half the room was occupied. There were a few seniors adjusting the projector and finalising things. So, I went to one of them and asked him very politely, “Bhaiya, first years ko mana kiya hai kya?” I was not sure how he was going to react. Now, you won’t believe what he replied. You know what he said? “Kaun puch rha hai? Just go and sit na.” So, I sat there in the second row and that was one of the best workshops I had ever attended till date. That’s what! No one cares who you are. There is no age bar. No restrictions if you give it a shot. That’s what I am talking about. So, coming back to the question at hand, is whatever you are doing at the moment enough? Well, the answer to this question depends on the individual. Let me try and tell you my take at it.
If someone will ask me right now, what are you doing? I would probably reply that I am pursuing software engineering. But then, that is a 5 year long process. So, if that someone tells me to, you know, to narrow down the answer into something more “around-the-corner” or something which will “give-immediate-results”, I am stuck. I do not have an answer to that question. Because, well because I am not doing anything! This was what came to my mind yesterday. Despite of me attending classes and all that, what am I doing? I have realized that teenage/college life is the most important period of one’s life. And also, it is the most creative one where you get enough opportunities if you are willing to take them and more than enough time if you are willing to find it! All it takes is looking at things in a slightly different way. Now, the question is, what does “different” actually mean, right? Well, let me take care of that too!
Until class 12th, the world was a really small space. There were only limited people and I knew most of them properly. I agree that those 3-4 years, class 9th to 12th basically allow us to get in touch with some really awesome people. But, once you come to a college, it is like the whole world is onto you, you know. There are so many people out here that you can’t even remember their names. They meet you, you do a thing or two together, an event, or maybe a project, and then, puff, they are gone. And obviously, you are gone for them too. You still meet them on your way back to hostel sometimes, but, that’s what I am talking about. The “permanence” is gone. It’s all temporary. It is not that you are going to meet the same people everyday in the same class. Half the time, you don’t even know the person sitting next to you. And, that makes me feel terrible. I am trying my best to hold on to the people whom I have known for the past few years. Because, they are the ones who really know me. And I know them. It goes both ways, you see. I am sure that even if I call any one of them in the middle of the night and ask for help, they won’t say no. And definitely, neither would I. I trust them. And hopefully, they trust me too. Neither I will take any advantage of that, nor are they going to take advantage of it. Unlike what is happening here. It happens all the time. Nowadays, people just turn up to my room asking for my lab records or something and then don’t even thank me while giving it back. I don’t expect a “Thank you” from the ones whom I consider “Friends”, but, from others, I do expect a bit of decency, if you know what I mean.
So, what I am saying is that it is no longer the same situation. Everything has changed, and it takes a lot of patience and effort to catch up with how fast life is going at the moment. One day you are doing something, and next day, you come up with another thing. These days, I have many friends calling me up with awesome ideas about various things. I have a few of mine too. And I really want to work on them. But, this atmosphere is not helping me out much. So, I am just trying to clear my head by writing whatever is coming to my mind. Because, I personally feel really relaxed and excited when I write something.
As always, it doesn’t matter to me whether or not someone reads this. Probably because it has got nothing to do with them.
As I said, I have a lot of things on my mind. And one of them has to be completed by this weekend. If I manage to do it, probably my next post will be regarding how you can actually do anything you want in a limited amount of time! So, wish me luck.
Until next time then….