Second chances, indeed, are strange. And special. A unique combo, I say. I mean, just consider the circumstances where these so called second chances come in play. When someone messes things up, you are expected to give them another chance to prove that their first attempt was a mistake or a failure, depending on the circumstances. When you mess things up, you expect someone to give you a second chance because the first time around, things did not work out the way you wanted them to. It happens both ways, you see. But, I have always heard people talking only about giving a second chance. I have never heard someone talking about getting a second chance. Giving a second chance is indeed a great deed, agreed, but then, so is getting another chance, another opportunity to set things right. Two recent incidents made me realize both these aspects associated with second chances.
Giving a second chance is completely fine, unless you are absolutely sure that the person who messed something up isn’t sorry for whatever he/she did. Obviously, if he/she is not interested in rectifying their mistake, you need not waste your time on that person. But again, if he/she feels guilty and is making an attempt to get things even, then you should definitely give him/her one more opportunity. But that’s about it. Only a second chance. Don’t even consider a third one. If someone fails you twice, it is clear enough that you are not on the priority list of that person, which, in other words, means that you need to forget about whatever happened and move on.
But you know what, talking about the reality, that’s easier said than done. It took me only a minute to write the last paragraph. But while I wrote that, several different memories flashed my mind. Memories about the person responsible for writing this piece, memories about whatever happened, memories even of how we met, how we became such good friends, everything. After you have known the person for a considerable amount of time, you just can’t forget them and move on. It’s not that easy. And at times, considering the circumstances, it’s not even necessary. At times, it is much easier that you forget the incident, give them another chance and let thing be. That another chance keeps on repeating. That’s how things happen in reality.
Now, talking about getting a second chance, first of all, it feels absolutely good to know that someone considers you important enough to give you another go at things. But, I have seen people taking their second chances very lightly. They say, “Next time also he/she won’t mind.” They think their second chance is going to continue forever. And I agree, at times it does. But then, at times it doesn’t. Things don’t always turn out your way because there is another person involved in the whole scenario. And no matter what, it is your responsibility to value that person. You simply can’t take him/her for granted. That’s not what will make things right.
Apologize. Tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them how you kept thinking about the two of you when you weren’t talking to each other. Tell them how tough that period of silence was. And trust me, if you suffer this much, the other person also does, in the exact same way. If it means a lot to you, somewhere in the back of their mind, it means a lot to them too. But just because you did something wrong, he/she were forced to take the hard step and cut off ties. But believe me, they are only waiting for the time you come to them and apologize. As soon as you say that you are sorry, they are ready to forget whatever happened and accept you whole-heartedly. It’s just that they want to know that their presence matters. That you value them as much as they do. That you enjoy their company as much as they do. That you take the relationship as seriously as they do.
I repeat, learn to apologize for your mistakes.
After all, it was indeed your fault, wasn’t it?
Think for yourself.